The Icelandic Christmas tree finally arrived on the fifth day of Christmas – a generous gift from our good friends in North Korea.

"It went OK, the government provided gifts and food for every home in the country – one medium sized can of green peas, a bottle of potato juice and a framed picture of the president, dressed up as Santa," says a spokesman for the Icelandic government when asked about the much dreaded holiday season in the once glamorous republic.

"We had surprisingly few complaints regarding the power shut-down on Christmas Eve – but that might be because the phones were out too. But all-in-all it was ... well ... as I said before ... OK.“

Other sources however disagree – or as one dissatisfied seven year old put it: „Christmas sucked a whales groin this year!"

This beautiful Viking boat has not been used since 923 B.C.

As Icelanders scramble to increase GDP to make up for the loss of the country’s financial sector many look to a return to traditional careers. Although most look to sheep wrestling and whale milking the more adventures are hoping to resurrect Icelanders oldest occupation, the Viking.

All around the island young men fashion weapons while their mothers knit sweaters for the big voyage across the Atlantic. If all goes well the first boats should leave for the British Isles in the first weeks of the New Year – and are to return in the spring with the first shiploads of virgins, wheat and DVDs.

Above is one of the mighty vessels which will transport the CEO's and their families to beautiful Sandgerdi.

In a shocking move, the CEO’s of Detroit’s big three automakers have contacted Icelandic authorities with a view of securing a bailout package. The package involves an exchange agreement where Iceland would receive several hundred thousand luxury SUV’s currently rusting on car lots across North America. In exchange the Icelandic government would provide wool sweaters, canned fish, pickled sheep horns and cod liver oil for the suffering employees of GM, Ford and Chrysler. There are also rumors of possible asylum for the CEO’s and their families in the “beautiful” town of Sandgerdi.

The CEO’s are expected in Reykjavik sometime after Christmas after crossing the North Atlantic Ocean by ship due to their recent pledges to stop using their corporate jets.

Iceland will most likely be disconnected from the Internet completely

One of the many and unfair conditions set forth in the evil IMF letter of intent is that the Icelandic government must take immediate and decisive action to adhere to non discriminatory and politically correct usage rules for world wide web domain names. The massive nationalization of Icelandic companies means that local Internet domain names must be immediately adjusted to reflect this new reality of government control over businesses.

Thus, until the nationwide nationalization effort is reversed, all Icelandic domain names will have the ending .gov.is

This decision also affects related products, such as Skyr.gov.is

The death ray will be initially pointed towards the International Space Station

The Icelandic military has made public it's plans to build a cosmic death ray to insure the country's independence and fend of hostile neighbours like Norway, UK and the Faroes.

Asked whether Iceland could afford such an ambitious and complex programme, defence minister Björn Bjarnason replied: "It's much cheaper than paying back our loans".

The Sheep's nest was built during the cod wars, in order to protect the president and his family

Now that the long-awaited loan from the IMF is finally within Iceland's grasp, the government's plans on how to spend it have been made public.

Replacement of the government's fleet of Range Rover vehicles, most of which are now almost a year old, will be top priority, as will be the refurbishment of "The Sheep's nest", president Grimson's summer palace on Vatnajokull glacier. Whatever money is left will most likely be spent on subsidies assisting the general population of Iceland in acquiring various necessities, such as mobile phones, laptop computers and flatscreen TV's.

God and Satan have an amicable relationship, despite their various disagreements

A press briefing held this morning by God Almighty and Satan revealed that the two parties made an agreement a full month ago rendering the latter full control over Iceland and all its resources.

"After careful consideration, I decided to surrender my influence in Iceland over to my counterpart here," God said during the briefing. "These have been a good few years and I think I did a decent job, for example with Bjork and the banks and all. But it's time for me to move on to other more pressing assignments."

In return for Iceland, God will today take over the United States from the Devil who has been in control there for the past eight years.

The bananas themselves are not too keen on the „Iceland link“ either.

„We don't want to be associated with this stinking sinking island, it's as simple as that,“ says Mubutum Mubuti, spokesman for the Global Association of Banana Republics (GABR) – quite annoyed.

Mubuti claims that Iceland's reputation is utterly destroyed and thus when the media calls it „a pitiful little banana republic“ it can be quite harmful for other banana republics and their good reputation.

„It's just not fair to us.“